Self-esteem is made up of three elements: -
· what you think of yourself
· what you think other people think of you
· what you think you should be like.
Self-esteem: the perception one has of one’s own competence and the ability to cope with any situation that arises
1.1.1 How is self-esteem developed?
From the moment that babies take their first breath, they begin to experience feelings. Babies do not have the language to think conscious thoughts about it, so they experience feelings. Babies might experience a feeling of comfort and wellbeing, because their parents care for them by feeding them when they are hungry, wrapping them in a blanket when it is cold and holding and touching them lovingly to make them feel wanted. Or babies can feel neglected if they do not get fed on time or if they are left alone for long periods of time without being cared for or caressed lovingly.
The babies in the first situation will already have experienced their first positive feedback from others, which will foster a positive, healthy self-image. The babies in the second situation already feel that they are not worthy of other people’s love, and they start to develop a negative self-image.
For the rest of our lives, every experience contributes towards building our self esteem. When we experience something good we feel successful and our self-esteem grows. When something bad happens, we feel like a failure and our self-esteem takes a knock and spirals downward.
People with good self-esteem are: -
· confident
· willing to take risks
· relaxed
· not afraid of criticism
· motivated
People with bad self-esteem are: -
· negative
· unmotivated
· shy and lacking in confidence
· scared of risk
· nervous and uncertain
· react negatively to criticism
1.1.2 Is it possible to improve my self-esteem?
Yes, it is! It is not easy and might take some time, but such a change can turn your life around. You first need to understand all the dimensions of self-esteem before you can do anything to change it.
Self-esteem comprises five dimensions: -
i. dexterity or skill
ii. intellectual
iii. psychological
iv. physical
v. gender
i) My dexterity and skills
How good am I with my hands? Can I easily learn new skills like playing a musical instrument, or am I good with sewing or making things? If I tried sewing, for instance, when I was little and someone laughed at my efforts, I might get the idea that I will never be good at it. If I am able to learn to do something fairly easily, I will know that I am good at it. If something negative happens more than once. I will become convinced that I am hopeless. The opposite is also true.
ii) My intelligence
If my parents react positively to things I say and do, the idea that I am OK will be reinforced in my mind. If they say things like ‘clever boy!’ or ‘good girl!’, I will start believing that I am clever. At school, this dimension of my self- esteem gets fed every day, because now I start comparing myself with my peers. If others constantly do better than me, I will believe that I am stupid, and if I do better than others, I will be convinced that I am clever.
iii) My psychological characteristics
Through experiences, I will either see myself as a well-balanced person, who knows what I want, or I will regard myself as a person who cannot make decisions, and will overcompensate in other things.
iv) My physical attributes
This is the dimension to which people pay most attention. This is about what you look like. Sometimes a person’s perception of what others think about their appearance is very different from what others really think. Unfortunately, your appearance often determines how others treat you. Boys will pay more attention to a pretty, slender girl than to a plain, overweight girl, even if the second girl is a much nicer person. That is why the beauty and slimming industries are multi-billion Rand industries.
v) My gender dimension
This is influenced by the society in which I grow up. The traditional views and values of my community will determine the role that I am expected to fulfil as a man or a woman. This differs greatly from culture to culture, It is very important that each person assesses objectively what the priority is in his or her life, and then strives to reach those goals for himself or herself.
1.2.3 How can I improve my self-esteem?
i) Do not be afraid to change
Take control of your own life today, and fearlessly go for it! Make a conscious decision that you are going to stop cowering in your corner, and boldly make the changes necessary to improve your life.
ii) Accept yourself
Make a list of your positive attributes, and focus on them rather than attributes that you are not satisfied with. Also look at your negative attributes, and decide what needs to be done to improve on them.
iii) Be positive
Enjoy life! Be thankful for what you receive every day, and you will start feeling fortunate. Believe in yourself and your abilities, and you will see things starting to change for the better.
iv) Set realistic objectives
Just wishing you could be more beautiful or good at sports, will not make it so. You would have to pay more attention to your appearance, by dressing your best and having your hair cut professionally or diet to lose the extra weight to look better. You might also have to practise very long and hard to become a good golfer or athlete.
v) Accept others for what they are
Treat others as you would like to be treated. Look beyond appearances, and do not judge before you know a person.
Activity 3
Individual work
1.
Make two lists:
a. all your skills and attributes that you feel good about
b. things about yourself that you would like to change
2.
On the list that you made in 1 b), write a goal for achieving each item.
3.
Explain how you can help a staff member do what you did in No. 2, above.
Points to ponder. . .
v Do you think that an emotionally intelligent person has good self-esteem?
v Do you think that a good leader needs to have good self-esteem?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Management is Not the Same as Leadership
This is similar to a DIFFERENCE Between a MANAGER and LEADER
Management is a hard science but leadership is a
delicate art. Colin Powell said that leadership is
the art of accomplishing more than the science of
management says is possible.
Because managers have authority over their employees,
they can force employees to comply with the rules even
when the employee disagrees. For example, I met a young
man working at a Burger King in Kentucky who had holes in his
ear lobes. I asked him what happened and he explained
that his manager forced him to remove his ear hoops
and facial piercings before he clocked in (thank
goodness!). The young man was not happy about
it and his heart obviously wasn't in it, but he
didn't have to be. If he wanted a paycheck, he
had to abide by the rules.
But leaders can't force their followers to do anything
because leaders don't have any authority over the
people who follow them. Leaders must get commitment
from their followers, and this only comes from the
heart. There is an old saying that you can lead a
horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Country
music star George Strait had a hit song titled "You
Can Lead a Heart to Love, But You Can't Make It Fall".
Leaders are in a similar position. They must get their
followers to voluntarily follow them.
One of the difficulties in transitioning from management
into leadership is getting accustomed to working
without formal authority. Managers can choose the people
they hire and fire. Leaders cannot choose who follows
them. For example, Martin Luther King is considered by
everyone to be the father of the civil rights movement.
He was adamant about being peaceful in everything he did.
A violent faction of the civil rights movement called
The Black Panthers participated in some of Dr. King's
marches, and he was not happy about it. Yet
he had to accept the fact that all leaders must accept,
the fact that with the good comes the bad.
Another difference between managers and leaders is that
managers don't have to have their employees' respect.
It certainly helps, but there are plenty of people who
work for bosses who they refer to as "idiots". (Just look
at the cartoon series Dilbert.) These are not great managers,
but they can still get the job done because they have
authority to hire and fire.
Leaders MUST have the respect of the people they
lead, because people will not follow someone they
don't respect.
The final difference I'll share with you in this
mini-course is that managers need healthy,
reasonably independent, well rounded individuals
in order to get the job done. Leaders sometimes
get their positions because weak, needy, unfocused
individuals seek them out. Sociologists have
studied this phenomenon in cult leaders.
Managing and leading are two different ways of organising people. The manager uses a formal, rational method whilst the leader uses passion and stirs emotions.
Management usually consists of people who are experienced in their field, and who have worked their way up the company. A manager knows how each layer of the system works and may also possess a good technical knowledge. A leader can be a new arrival to a company who has bold, fresh, new ideas but might not have experience or wisdom.
The Leader Is Followed. The Manager Rules
Differences In Perspectives
Managers think incrementally, whilst leaders think radically. "Managers do things right, while leaders do the right thing.". This means that managers do things by the book and follow company policy, while leaders follow their own intuition, which may in turn be of more benefit to the company. A leader is more emotional than a manager . "Men are governed by their emotions rather than their intelligence". This quotation illustrates why teams choose to follow leaders.
"Leaders stand out by being different. They question assumption and are suspicious of tradition. They seek out the truth and make decisions based on fact, not prejudice. They have a preference for innovation."
=====================================================
Secret #2:
Business is Business, but Leadership is Personal
=====================================================
Have you ever layed off an employee who got emotional?
Chances are that you comforted the employee
by saying something like "Don't take it personally.
It's just business". And as a manager, you know that
you have to keep your personal life separate from your
work life.
To make this even more challenging, business leaders
are held to an even higher standard than other leaders.
When former Georgia Tech football coach George O'Leary
was hired as head coach at the University of Notre Dame,
it was discovered that he lied on his resume. Notre Dame
withdrew the offer, but he was able to find a job as an
assistant in the NFL. When it was discovered
that the CEO of Radio Shack lied on his resume, he was
immediately fired and will probably never be an
executive again.
When former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani had
an extramarital affair, residents forgave him because
they were more concerned about his leadership after
the World Trade Center attacks on September 11. Voters
even re-elected Bill Clinton to a second term as
President of the United States after he admitted
to an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
But when it was discovered that Harry Stonecipher,
the CEO on Boeing, had an affair with one of his
employees, he was fired, in his career as CEO was over.
delicate art. Colin Powell said that leadership is
the art of accomplishing more than the science of
management says is possible.
Because managers have authority over their employees,
they can force employees to comply with the rules even
when the employee disagrees. For example, I met a young
man working at a Burger King in Kentucky who had holes in his
ear lobes. I asked him what happened and he explained
that his manager forced him to remove his ear hoops
and facial piercings before he clocked in (thank
goodness!). The young man was not happy about
it and his heart obviously wasn't in it, but he
didn't have to be. If he wanted a paycheck, he
had to abide by the rules.
But leaders can't force their followers to do anything
because leaders don't have any authority over the
people who follow them. Leaders must get commitment
from their followers, and this only comes from the
heart. There is an old saying that you can lead a
horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Country
music star George Strait had a hit song titled "You
Can Lead a Heart to Love, But You Can't Make It Fall".
Leaders are in a similar position. They must get their
followers to voluntarily follow them.
One of the difficulties in transitioning from management
into leadership is getting accustomed to working
without formal authority. Managers can choose the people
they hire and fire. Leaders cannot choose who follows
them. For example, Martin Luther King is considered by
everyone to be the father of the civil rights movement.
He was adamant about being peaceful in everything he did.
A violent faction of the civil rights movement called
The Black Panthers participated in some of Dr. King's
marches, and he was not happy about it. Yet
he had to accept the fact that all leaders must accept,
the fact that with the good comes the bad.
Another difference between managers and leaders is that
managers don't have to have their employees' respect.
It certainly helps, but there are plenty of people who
work for bosses who they refer to as "idiots". (Just look
at the cartoon series Dilbert.) These are not great managers,
but they can still get the job done because they have
authority to hire and fire.
Leaders MUST have the respect of the people they
lead, because people will not follow someone they
don't respect.
The final difference I'll share with you in this
mini-course is that managers need healthy,
reasonably independent, well rounded individuals
in order to get the job done. Leaders sometimes
get their positions because weak, needy, unfocused
individuals seek them out. Sociologists have
studied this phenomenon in cult leaders.
Managing and leading are two different ways of organising people. The manager uses a formal, rational method whilst the leader uses passion and stirs emotions.
Management usually consists of people who are experienced in their field, and who have worked their way up the company. A manager knows how each layer of the system works and may also possess a good technical knowledge. A leader can be a new arrival to a company who has bold, fresh, new ideas but might not have experience or wisdom.
The Leader Is Followed. The Manager Rules
Differences In Perspectives
Managers think incrementally, whilst leaders think radically. "Managers do things right, while leaders do the right thing.". This means that managers do things by the book and follow company policy, while leaders follow their own intuition, which may in turn be of more benefit to the company. A leader is more emotional than a manager . "Men are governed by their emotions rather than their intelligence". This quotation illustrates why teams choose to follow leaders.
"Leaders stand out by being different. They question assumption and are suspicious of tradition. They seek out the truth and make decisions based on fact, not prejudice. They have a preference for innovation."
Leadership is just one of the many assets a successful manager must possess. Care must be taken in distinguishing between the two concepts. The main aim of a manager is to maximise the output of the organisation through administrative implementation. To achieve this, managers must undertake the following functions:
- organisation
- planning
- staffing
- directing
- controlling
Leadership is just one important component of the directing function. A manager cannot just be a leader, he also needs formal authority to be effective. "For any quality initiative to take hold, senior management must be involved and act as a role model. This involvement cannot be delegated."
In some circumstances, leadership is not required. For example, self motivated groups may not require a single leader and may find leaders dominating. The fact that a leader is not always required proves that leadership is just an asset and is not essential.
=====================================================
Secret #2:
Business is Business, but Leadership is Personal
=====================================================
Have you ever layed off an employee who got emotional?
Chances are that you comforted the employee
by saying something like "Don't take it personally.
It's just business". And as a manager, you know that
you have to keep your personal life separate from your
work life.
To make this even more challenging, business leaders
are held to an even higher standard than other leaders.
When former Georgia Tech football coach George O'Leary
was hired as head coach at the University of Notre Dame,
it was discovered that he lied on his resume. Notre Dame
withdrew the offer, but he was able to find a job as an
assistant in the NFL. When it was discovered
that the CEO of Radio Shack lied on his resume, he was
immediately fired and will probably never be an
executive again.
When former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani had
an extramarital affair, residents forgave him because
they were more concerned about his leadership after
the World Trade Center attacks on September 11. Voters
even re-elected Bill Clinton to a second term as
President of the United States after he admitted
to an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky.
But when it was discovered that Harry Stonecipher,
the CEO on Boeing, had an affair with one of his
employees, he was fired, in his career as CEO was over.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Life is BEAUTIFUL
1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile..
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't
compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35.. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
It is a good practice.
Some call it as Yoga,
Any way, it can improve our quality of life.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't
compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35.. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
It is a good practice.
Some call it as Yoga,
Any way, it can improve our quality of life.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Golden Rules for Career Success
WORKING as a business consultant all over the world, I have discovered some basic career-related rules that everyone should know-but many don't. - Richard Moran
1. Keep track of what you do; someone is sure to ask.
2. Never bring your boss a problem without some solution.
3. You are getting paid to think, not to whine.
4. Long hours don't mean anything; results count, not effort.
5. Write down ideas; they get lost, like good pens.
6. Always arrive at work 30 minutes before your boss.
7. Help other people network for jobs. You never know when your turn will come.
8. Don't take days off sick-unless you are.
9. Assume no one can/will keep a secret.
10. Know when you do your best-morning, night, under pressure, relaxed; schedule and prioritize your work accordingly.
11. Treat everyone who works in the organization with respect and dignity, whether it be the cleaner or the managing director.
Don't ever be patronizing.
12. Never appear stressed in front of a client, a customer, or your boss.
13. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: In the course of human events, how important is this?
14. If you get the entrepreneurial urge, visit someone who has his own business. It may cure you.
15. Acknowledging someone else's contribution will repay you doubly.
16. Career planning is an oxymoron. The most exciting opportunities tend to be unplanned.
17. Always choose to do what you'll remember ten years from now.
18. The size of your office is not as important as the size of your pay cheque.
19. Understand what finished work looks like and deliver your work only when it is finished.
20. The person who spends all of his or her time is not hard-working; he or she is boring.
21. Know how to write business letters-including thank-you notes as well as proposals.
22. Never confuse a memo with reality. Most memos from the top are political fantasy..
23. Eliminate guilt. Don't fiddle expenses, taxes or benefits, and don't cheat colleagues.
24. Reorganizations mean that someone will lose his or her job.
25. Get on the committee that will make the recommendations.
26. Job security does not exist.
27. Go to the company Christmas party..
28. Drink but Don't get drunk at the company Christmas party.
29. Avoid working at weekends. Work longer during the week if you have to. Moreover, don't stay late in night, it doesn't creates impression
rather shows lack in your productivity.
30. The most successful people in business are interesting.
31. Sometimes you'll be on a winning streak and everything will click; take maximum advantage.
32. When the opposite is true, hold steady and wait it out.
33. Never in your life say, "It's not my job."
34. Be loyal to your career, your interests and yourself.
35. Understand the skills and abilities that set you apart. Use them whenever you have an opportunity.
36. People remember the end of the project. As they say in boxing,
"Always finish stronger than you start."
1. Keep track of what you do; someone is sure to ask.
2. Never bring your boss a problem without some solution.
3. You are getting paid to think, not to whine.
4. Long hours don't mean anything; results count, not effort.
5. Write down ideas; they get lost, like good pens.
6. Always arrive at work 30 minutes before your boss.
7. Help other people network for jobs. You never know when your turn will come.
8. Don't take days off sick-unless you are.
9. Assume no one can/will keep a secret.
10. Know when you do your best-morning, night, under pressure, relaxed; schedule and prioritize your work accordingly.
11. Treat everyone who works in the organization with respect and dignity, whether it be the cleaner or the managing director.
Don't ever be patronizing.
12. Never appear stressed in front of a client, a customer, or your boss.
13. Take a deep breath and ask yourself: In the course of human events, how important is this?
14. If you get the entrepreneurial urge, visit someone who has his own business. It may cure you.
15. Acknowledging someone else's contribution will repay you doubly.
16. Career planning is an oxymoron. The most exciting opportunities tend to be unplanned.
17. Always choose to do what you'll remember ten years from now.
18. The size of your office is not as important as the size of your pay cheque.
19. Understand what finished work looks like and deliver your work only when it is finished.
20. The person who spends all of his or her time is not hard-working; he or she is boring.
21. Know how to write business letters-including thank-you notes as well as proposals.
22. Never confuse a memo with reality. Most memos from the top are political fantasy..
23. Eliminate guilt. Don't fiddle expenses, taxes or benefits, and don't cheat colleagues.
24. Reorganizations mean that someone will lose his or her job.
25. Get on the committee that will make the recommendations.
26. Job security does not exist.
27. Go to the company Christmas party..
28. Drink but Don't get drunk at the company Christmas party.
29. Avoid working at weekends. Work longer during the week if you have to. Moreover, don't stay late in night, it doesn't creates impression
rather shows lack in your productivity.
30. The most successful people in business are interesting.
31. Sometimes you'll be on a winning streak and everything will click; take maximum advantage.
32. When the opposite is true, hold steady and wait it out.
33. Never in your life say, "It's not my job."
34. Be loyal to your career, your interests and yourself.
35. Understand the skills and abilities that set you apart. Use them whenever you have an opportunity.
36. People remember the end of the project. As they say in boxing,
"Always finish stronger than you start."
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Marriages
Marriages In India
Marriages are made in Heaven
Marriages are made in Heaven
"Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: finding the right person and being the right person" quote. Do we really know the actual definition of a successful marriage? If not than lets look for it and see what conclusion we can draw. We often say that someone somewhere is made for you and the day you come across that person you feel that that he or she is the one you have been waiting for. But later we see that due to lack of understanding and mental compatibility they move apart. So how can we say that they were the perfect match since they didn't gave any effort to understand each other. So it's important you know your partner. There are people who get physically attracted and fall for each other and eventually end up getting married. But later on when they see their wavelength not matching they easily get separated without a second thought. In today's generation we see these incidents more compare to earlier generation. And this is more due to the changing social scenario. With so many things to divert your attention you really don't know what to do.
Marriage is not just coming together of two individuals. There is much more to it. To sustain a marriage it is important that there is effort from both sides than only a marriage can carry on. A successful marriage is like a good recipe whose main ingredients are love, commitment, understanding, concern and togetherness. If you can include these aspects in your married life you can find happiness in your marriage. Andre Maurois once aptly said, "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." Which is so true. When we talk about mental compatibility between husband and wife we have seen that not only incase of arrange marriage this problem exist where both of them were unknown to each other before marriage but even after many years of courtship in love marriages this problem exist because when we meet before marriage we are at our best to impress the other person. And we start accepting each other the way we like to see each other. But gradually after marriage when we slip into our natural self that time we have to accept each other as we are. And in most of the cases the real self is not what we wanted to see and then begins the contradiction with the person whom we have loved and with whom I have to spend my life. So it's important that when you love a person love him or her the way he or she is and not the way you want him or her to be. Than only you can be happy.
A happy married life calls for constant commitment and concern for each other. There are few small and minute aspects, which we tend to forget in our married life, as we get busy with the daily chores. So at times it is important to indulge in those minute details of a married life, which will constantly remind each other of the love and concern being present. We can conclude by the quote of Barnett Brickner, which says it, all that "Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate."
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Self Motivation
1. Be confident. If you don't believe in yourself, why would anyone else? We all have something we are good at. Have faith in yourself and try to work on your niche skills. Drive the fear of failure far away from you. Remember, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger!
2. Be clear. Fuzzy, undefined goals are difficult to focus on. How will you proceed when the path seems all foggy? Request your manager for defined, measurable objectives and tasks.
If your manager is not very forthcoming, take some initiative and work with him until you have clarity about your role and what you will be appraised on, at the end of the year. Self-motivated people work best with clearly defined objectives in life. Even if the targets seem a little hazy, house-bred motivation can come in real handy!
3. Work on yourself. Nothing works better as a power shot of motivation than the knowledge that you are good at what you do! Be on top of things at work. Identify your weak areas and get them out of the way. Enroll in courses that will raise your market value and also your motivation levels. Getting a few certifications and qualifications in your functional skills will definitely instill a great deal of confidence.
4. Take criticism positively. Even though the other person has no such intentions, turn all negative criticism into a positive driving force. Failure is a state a mind. If you think you can succeed, you will. Always think positive. That way, instead of brooding over past disappointments, you will route your frustration into positive energy required for working harder. It works like magic.
"My boss was always running me down. Even when I did a good job, he never praised me. Initially I used to feel terrible and slowly started to look for excuses to avoid official meetings when he would once again find reasons to discourage me. I contemplated resigning and finding a new job where I did not have to prove myself over and over again," recounts Mohit Sethi*. "But then, there were no guarantees that my next boss would be better to work with. So, I took it up as a challenge. I started reporting to work early and always finished my tasks before time. My team members started to respect me more because I helped them when my work was done. Gradually, my boss took a back step when he realised that I was now a highly productive member of the team. If I had not been self motivated to prove a point, thoughts of having failed and run away would have chased me forever."
5. Look out for challenges. If the current job demotivates you, not to worry. Be open to try out new things if your present role has become too boring to continue even a day more. Talk to your seniors to redefine your role to optimise your capabilities. Establish your reputation as somebody who is not scared to take on new challenges in life.
6. Be persistent. Most things may not work out right the first time. This just means that you need to try harder. However, ensure that you set your heart on goals that are really important to you and will help you progress in life. Save your efforts for things that matter. Do not waste your energies on peripheral things.
7. Keep the company of successful people. Try to surround yourself with confident people who are driven and high on life. Read books that fill you with optimism. Put up motivating posters and quotes on your workstation that will spread positive energy and drive away any depressing thoughts. Look around for successful people and try to emulate them. Find out what makes them tick and include that in your working style.
8. Celebrate life. If something doesn't shape up like you thought it would, it does not mean everything else is doomed as well. Do not feel stressed; high stress leads to low motivation. Take active interest in things happening around you. Live your life well. Continue to have faith in yourself and get involved in things that give you happiness. That itself will generate enough motivation for you to glide over waves of setbacks.
9. Start today. List all that is important for you to achieve your goals. Divide long-term goals into smaller milestones and celebrate each accomplished goal. Procrastination is a killer so keep it at bay.
10. Keep dreaming. Lastly, do not forget to keep dreaming. Dream big! Let your dreams fuel your desire to get closer to your goals. Write your dreams for yourself in a diary or a journal and constantly refer to them so that you do not forget or lose sight of the objective.
Remember, "Motivation is all about how high you can bounce when you hit absolute rock bottom."
2. Be clear. Fuzzy, undefined goals are difficult to focus on. How will you proceed when the path seems all foggy? Request your manager for defined, measurable objectives and tasks.
If your manager is not very forthcoming, take some initiative and work with him until you have clarity about your role and what you will be appraised on, at the end of the year. Self-motivated people work best with clearly defined objectives in life. Even if the targets seem a little hazy, house-bred motivation can come in real handy!
3. Work on yourself. Nothing works better as a power shot of motivation than the knowledge that you are good at what you do! Be on top of things at work. Identify your weak areas and get them out of the way. Enroll in courses that will raise your market value and also your motivation levels. Getting a few certifications and qualifications in your functional skills will definitely instill a great deal of confidence.
4. Take criticism positively. Even though the other person has no such intentions, turn all negative criticism into a positive driving force. Failure is a state a mind. If you think you can succeed, you will. Always think positive. That way, instead of brooding over past disappointments, you will route your frustration into positive energy required for working harder. It works like magic.
"My boss was always running me down. Even when I did a good job, he never praised me. Initially I used to feel terrible and slowly started to look for excuses to avoid official meetings when he would once again find reasons to discourage me. I contemplated resigning and finding a new job where I did not have to prove myself over and over again," recounts Mohit Sethi*. "But then, there were no guarantees that my next boss would be better to work with. So, I took it up as a challenge. I started reporting to work early and always finished my tasks before time. My team members started to respect me more because I helped them when my work was done. Gradually, my boss took a back step when he realised that I was now a highly productive member of the team. If I had not been self motivated to prove a point, thoughts of having failed and run away would have chased me forever."
5. Look out for challenges. If the current job demotivates you, not to worry. Be open to try out new things if your present role has become too boring to continue even a day more. Talk to your seniors to redefine your role to optimise your capabilities. Establish your reputation as somebody who is not scared to take on new challenges in life.
6. Be persistent. Most things may not work out right the first time. This just means that you need to try harder. However, ensure that you set your heart on goals that are really important to you and will help you progress in life. Save your efforts for things that matter. Do not waste your energies on peripheral things.
7. Keep the company of successful people. Try to surround yourself with confident people who are driven and high on life. Read books that fill you with optimism. Put up motivating posters and quotes on your workstation that will spread positive energy and drive away any depressing thoughts. Look around for successful people and try to emulate them. Find out what makes them tick and include that in your working style.
8. Celebrate life. If something doesn't shape up like you thought it would, it does not mean everything else is doomed as well. Do not feel stressed; high stress leads to low motivation. Take active interest in things happening around you. Live your life well. Continue to have faith in yourself and get involved in things that give you happiness. That itself will generate enough motivation for you to glide over waves of setbacks.
9. Start today. List all that is important for you to achieve your goals. Divide long-term goals into smaller milestones and celebrate each accomplished goal. Procrastination is a killer so keep it at bay.
10. Keep dreaming. Lastly, do not forget to keep dreaming. Dream big! Let your dreams fuel your desire to get closer to your goals. Write your dreams for yourself in a diary or a journal and constantly refer to them so that you do not forget or lose sight of the objective.
Remember, "Motivation is all about how high you can bounce when you hit absolute rock bottom."
Sunday, October 7, 2007
How to ask for a salary increment?
Schedule an appointment
Don't storm into the boss' room with an ad-hoc request for a raise. Plan an appointment and have a strategy. Speak to trusted colleagues, friends and people from the industry and get some information on what a normal raise is for someone with your profile and experience. Also take your boss's mood into account.
Write a note to your boss without stating the precise reason for the meeting. Say it is to discuss a personal matter, to discuss your development or present an idea. If you say you want to ask for an increment, your boss is likely to say 'No' on the spot. Here is a sample note you could send to fix an appointment:
Dear Sir,
Could we meet for 30 minutes anytime this week to discuss my role and development? I would appreciate your advice. Please give me a time and date that suits you.
Sincerely,
Nikhil
Make a list of accomplishments
Create a list of accomplishments that are quantifiable and specific. For instance: 'Achieved 110 per cent of the sale target, managed the largest customer base of 130 high net worth customers in the sales region, supervised a team of 15 with a retention rate of 100 per cent.' Use words such as 'first', 'best in class', 'highest' and 'excellent'. Bring some supporting documents to the meeting, like an excel sheet that highlights your key accomplishments. Bosses like results, so be specific and detailed.
Forward-looking approach
No boss will entertain a request of paying you more for doing the same job. A smart way is to ask for increased responsibilities and tasks and link this to a salary raise either right away or in the long term. You can also create a 'pay for performance' system with your boss, where you get rewarded for the extra value you bring to the company over and above your main responsibilities.
Don't walk out with an empty plate
Give your boss/management a choice. The choice has to be between something and something else, not between something and nothing. If the company is in cost-cutting mode, consider other perks that you may be able to negotiate for in the short-term to compensate for the lack of money.
Send a follow-up note
After the meeting, send a note thanking your boss for his or her time and reinforcing the value you bring to the organisation. Also use this note to summarise the meeting, so your boss has some valid documentation.
Here's a sample note:
Dear Sir,
Thank you for reviewing my responsibilities, role and salary at our meeting today. I believe I should receive a raise based on the following reasons: (List the reasons, presented as three to four bullet points)
I would be happy to provide details on any of the above accomplishments. I am very positive about my job and the future of the organisation and am willing to take on increased responsibilities. I am committed to contributing to the company's success in the future.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Nikhil
Remember, as long as you provide value to your organisation and they are doing fairly well financially, you have every reason to ask for a raise.
Don't storm into the boss' room with an ad-hoc request for a raise. Plan an appointment and have a strategy. Speak to trusted colleagues, friends and people from the industry and get some information on what a normal raise is for someone with your profile and experience. Also take your boss's mood into account.
Write a note to your boss without stating the precise reason for the meeting. Say it is to discuss a personal matter, to discuss your development or present an idea. If you say you want to ask for an increment, your boss is likely to say 'No' on the spot. Here is a sample note you could send to fix an appointment:
Dear Sir,
Could we meet for 30 minutes anytime this week to discuss my role and development? I would appreciate your advice. Please give me a time and date that suits you.
Sincerely,
Nikhil
Make a list of accomplishments
Create a list of accomplishments that are quantifiable and specific. For instance: 'Achieved 110 per cent of the sale target, managed the largest customer base of 130 high net worth customers in the sales region, supervised a team of 15 with a retention rate of 100 per cent.' Use words such as 'first', 'best in class', 'highest' and 'excellent'. Bring some supporting documents to the meeting, like an excel sheet that highlights your key accomplishments. Bosses like results, so be specific and detailed.
Forward-looking approach
No boss will entertain a request of paying you more for doing the same job. A smart way is to ask for increased responsibilities and tasks and link this to a salary raise either right away or in the long term. You can also create a 'pay for performance' system with your boss, where you get rewarded for the extra value you bring to the company over and above your main responsibilities.
Don't walk out with an empty plate
Give your boss/management a choice. The choice has to be between something and something else, not between something and nothing. If the company is in cost-cutting mode, consider other perks that you may be able to negotiate for in the short-term to compensate for the lack of money.
Send a follow-up note
After the meeting, send a note thanking your boss for his or her time and reinforcing the value you bring to the organisation. Also use this note to summarise the meeting, so your boss has some valid documentation.
Here's a sample note:
Dear Sir,
Thank you for reviewing my responsibilities, role and salary at our meeting today. I believe I should receive a raise based on the following reasons: (List the reasons, presented as three to four bullet points)
I would be happy to provide details on any of the above accomplishments. I am very positive about my job and the future of the organisation and am willing to take on increased responsibilities. I am committed to contributing to the company's success in the future.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Nikhil
Remember, as long as you provide value to your organisation and they are doing fairly well financially, you have every reason to ask for a raise.
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