Over the holiday I give a lot of thought to what topics to start the year with. Based on that, I have prepared A Manager"s Annual Plan. It is a multi-part, chronological series on how to analyze and improve your organization.
Does the organization have goals?
What are they?
Are they reachable?
What do I need to reach them?
Have I got the right people and other resources?
How do I get them?
How do I communicate the mission?
How can I be a better leader?
What if they don"t follow?
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ?
WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ?
- Azim Premji, CEO-Wipro
Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.
Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office,and the very best technology,even a canteen that served superb food.
Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it"s ever been," he said soon after he joined.
Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.
Why did this talented employee leave ?
The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:
If you"re losing good people, look to their manager .... manager is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he "s the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.
"People leave managers not companies ," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.
Mostly manager drives people away?
When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don "t have your heart and soul in the job."
Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn"t.
- Azim Premji, CEO-Wipro
Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.
Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office,and the very best technology,even a canteen that served superb food.
Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it"s ever been," he said soon after he joined.
Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.
Why did this talented employee leave ?
The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:
If you"re losing good people, look to their manager .... manager is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he "s the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.
"People leave managers not companies ," write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.
Mostly manager drives people away?
When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don "t have your heart and soul in the job."
Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn"t.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Lateral Thinking Skill
1) A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator -- or if it was raining that day -- he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up two flights of stairs to his apartment.
Ans: The man is a dwarf. He can't reach the upper elevator buttons, but he can ask people to push them for him. He can also push them with his umbrella.
Ans: The man is a dwarf. He can't reach the upper elevator buttons, but he can ask people to push them for him. He can also push them with his umbrella.
2) You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus
An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Ans: The old lady of course! After helping the old lady into the car, you can give your keys to your friend, and wait with your perfect partner for the bus
3) A man and his son are in a car crash. The father is killed and the child is taken to hospital gravely injured. When he gets there, the surgeon says, 'I can't operate on this boy - for he is my son!!!' How can this possibly be?
Ans: The surgeon can not operate on her own son; she is his mother.
4) There are six eggs in the basket. Six people each take one of the eggs. How can it be that one egg is left in the basket?
Ans: The last person took the basket with the last egg still inside.
5) There was once a recluse who never left his home. The only time anyone ever visited him was when his food and supplies were delivered, but they never came inside. Then, one storm winter night when an icy gale was blowing, he had a nervous breakdown. He went upstairs, turned off all the lights and went to bed. Next morning, he had caused the deaths of several hundred people. How?
Ans: He was a lighthouse keeper who switched off the lighthouse
6) Three switches outside a windowless room are connected to three light bulbs inside the room. How can you determine which switch is connected to which bulb if you may enter the room only once?
Ans: Ans: Switch one light on for a minute; turn it off and turn another on. Go into the room and feel the off-bulbs. The warm one is connected to the first switch, the on-bulb is connected to the second.
7) A man is replacing a wheel on his car, when he accidentally drops the four nuts used to hold the wheel on the car, and they fall into a deep drain, irretrievably lost. A passing girl offers him a solution which enables him to drive home. What is it?
Ans: Use one nut from each of the other 3 wheels.
Friday, June 15, 2007
5 Traits of a Brilliant Leader
Show the way
By empowering your team members, you empower yourself.
Each one is born with some leadership qualities. However, 90% of it is acquired. And one needs to strive to achieve those qualities. Grooming comes where there is willingness, desire, and a "can-do" attitude. If there is consistent endeavor armed with honesty, sincerity, and above all, integrity, then there is a good leader in the making.
A leader is a pillar of an organization. The leader makes the foundation, but if the foundation is weak, the people get disoriented, and the structure goes haywire. A leader is an institution by himself and sets the tone for an organization. Culture always goes topdown in any family, organization or a country, and never bottom-up.
A leader must walk his talk; it is philosophy put into action that gives direction and destination. A leader is an agent of change who makes a difference. A leader without power is no leader; but the big question is from where does a leader get power? He gets power from three Ps of power:
1. Position Power: Some people get power from position and title, but if you take away the title, the power goes away. Position and titles give authority, and authority gives power; but, only good behavior gives respect.
2. Personality Power: There are charismatic personalities like film stars. Personality opens the door; character keeps it open.
3. Principle Power: Power that is based on character which is lasting. Some of the greatest leaders of the world were short, tall, fat or bald, but they had one thing common that was character. If you look at life of Lincoln, Martin Luther King and Gandhi, they all had character.
A leader also needs to take three kinds of decision, which is called three Cs of decision-making.
1. Decision of Command: There is nobody to help, and a leader has to take the decisions alone. This is where conviction plays a very important role. There is a big difference between preferences and convictions in life. Preferences are negotiable, convictions are not. Under pressure, preferences become weak and convictions always become stronger.
2. Decision of Consultation: A leader creates his team, consults them, and then decides.
3. Decision of Consensus: History reflects, great leaders have not always had consensus, but they create consensus. That is where the power of conviction and communication playa role.
Leadership is all about creating conditions under which team members can perform effectively towards a common goal and actualise their potential.
Team members need feedback on a regular basis, not just during the annual appraisals. They need to be made aware of their performance levels and be given an opportunity to discuss their needs for growth and development. Recognition of efforts is essential for lifting the executives' spirits and strengthening their sense of commitment.
Set high standards for yourself and your team will follow suit.
Open communication channels
Poor communication skills can be the kiss of death for a team leader.
If you are not precise and clear about what you expect from your team members, you will not get the crisp action and results you want.
Simple information -- like who is in charge of the project, what are the team members' primary and secondary responsibilities, what is the deadline, what is the team's cumulative target, what is each individual's contribution towards achieving the team's objectives, in which direction is the team headed, on which parameters is the quality of performance going to be assessed -- goes a long way in clarifying roles and expectations.
Make sure your team knows that you are approachable and you consider them worthy of your time.
Every member of the team has strengths required to make the team successful. So, each should be treated with the same respect.
Anticipate problems
An effective rule for managing issues is: When you hear it, write about it. This ensures that all related details are recorded and can be subsequently reviewed. Each issue can then be prioritised and attended to accordingly.
'An important task of a manager is to reduce his people's excuses for failure.'
Once systems and processes are set, the team members have no option but to align themselves accordingly.
They will respect you for your farsightedness and efficiency in the long run though they may crib initially at the changes you have brought about, especially if they are not used to maintaining records.
Explain to them the importance of doing things right at the first go.
Be helpful, not forceful
Leadership as of today is all about guiding -- not ruling.
You need to gauge your team members accurately. It is only by understanding their individual work preferences, core competencies, motivation levels, areas of improvement and strengths that you will be in a position to assign them tasks accordingly.
The Boss needs to be approachable when the situation so demands. If your team member has goofed up in the process of learning the ropes, help him save face.
If one of your team members is finding it difficult to meet his deadline, get a colleague, who is relatively free, to chip in. Two brains are better than one.
Your team members will definitely appreciate your sense of solidarity and respect you more for saving the day for them.
Trust is the key
No relationship is long-lasting or worthwhile if trust is missing.
It is the moral responsibility of the team leader to shield his team from any problems that can occur in the distant future as well as any management decisions that can harm his team in any way. He needs to exhibit trust-building behaviour.
He needs to trust his team members before they trust him. It works both ways.
As the team leader is the connection between the team and the higher management, he needs to work in tandem with both parties to obtain a full commitment from the management in support of the team's programme.
It is his responsibility to ensure his team members are making maximum use of the resources and the support provided. He needs to earn the trust of both parties to meet his objectives.
Betrayal of trust leads to an inevitable downfall.
Have faith in your team members to achieve miracles. Provide them with opportunities, equip them with relevant training and support and they will repay your faith.
Listen to yourself when you speak
"Observe yourself talking with colleagues and friends. In your conversation, do you hear yourself blaming others for things that aren't going exactly as you wish? If you can sense your blaming patterns, you can stop them,"
By empowering your team members, you empower yourself.
Each one is born with some leadership qualities. However, 90% of it is acquired. And one needs to strive to achieve those qualities. Grooming comes where there is willingness, desire, and a "can-do" attitude. If there is consistent endeavor armed with honesty, sincerity, and above all, integrity, then there is a good leader in the making.
A leader is a pillar of an organization. The leader makes the foundation, but if the foundation is weak, the people get disoriented, and the structure goes haywire. A leader is an institution by himself and sets the tone for an organization. Culture always goes topdown in any family, organization or a country, and never bottom-up.
A leader must walk his talk; it is philosophy put into action that gives direction and destination. A leader is an agent of change who makes a difference. A leader without power is no leader; but the big question is from where does a leader get power? He gets power from three Ps of power:
1. Position Power: Some people get power from position and title, but if you take away the title, the power goes away. Position and titles give authority, and authority gives power; but, only good behavior gives respect.
2. Personality Power: There are charismatic personalities like film stars. Personality opens the door; character keeps it open.
3. Principle Power: Power that is based on character which is lasting. Some of the greatest leaders of the world were short, tall, fat or bald, but they had one thing common that was character. If you look at life of Lincoln, Martin Luther King and Gandhi, they all had character.
A leader also needs to take three kinds of decision, which is called three Cs of decision-making.
1. Decision of Command: There is nobody to help, and a leader has to take the decisions alone. This is where conviction plays a very important role. There is a big difference between preferences and convictions in life. Preferences are negotiable, convictions are not. Under pressure, preferences become weak and convictions always become stronger.
2. Decision of Consultation: A leader creates his team, consults them, and then decides.
3. Decision of Consensus: History reflects, great leaders have not always had consensus, but they create consensus. That is where the power of conviction and communication playa role.
Leadership is all about creating conditions under which team members can perform effectively towards a common goal and actualise their potential.
Team members need feedback on a regular basis, not just during the annual appraisals. They need to be made aware of their performance levels and be given an opportunity to discuss their needs for growth and development. Recognition of efforts is essential for lifting the executives' spirits and strengthening their sense of commitment.
Set high standards for yourself and your team will follow suit.
Open communication channels
Poor communication skills can be the kiss of death for a team leader.
If you are not precise and clear about what you expect from your team members, you will not get the crisp action and results you want.
Simple information -- like who is in charge of the project, what are the team members' primary and secondary responsibilities, what is the deadline, what is the team's cumulative target, what is each individual's contribution towards achieving the team's objectives, in which direction is the team headed, on which parameters is the quality of performance going to be assessed -- goes a long way in clarifying roles and expectations.
Make sure your team knows that you are approachable and you consider them worthy of your time.
Every member of the team has strengths required to make the team successful. So, each should be treated with the same respect.
Anticipate problems
An effective rule for managing issues is: When you hear it, write about it. This ensures that all related details are recorded and can be subsequently reviewed. Each issue can then be prioritised and attended to accordingly.
'An important task of a manager is to reduce his people's excuses for failure.'
Once systems and processes are set, the team members have no option but to align themselves accordingly.
They will respect you for your farsightedness and efficiency in the long run though they may crib initially at the changes you have brought about, especially if they are not used to maintaining records.
Explain to them the importance of doing things right at the first go.
Be helpful, not forceful
Leadership as of today is all about guiding -- not ruling.
You need to gauge your team members accurately. It is only by understanding their individual work preferences, core competencies, motivation levels, areas of improvement and strengths that you will be in a position to assign them tasks accordingly.
The Boss needs to be approachable when the situation so demands. If your team member has goofed up in the process of learning the ropes, help him save face.
If one of your team members is finding it difficult to meet his deadline, get a colleague, who is relatively free, to chip in. Two brains are better than one.
Your team members will definitely appreciate your sense of solidarity and respect you more for saving the day for them.
Trust is the key
No relationship is long-lasting or worthwhile if trust is missing.
It is the moral responsibility of the team leader to shield his team from any problems that can occur in the distant future as well as any management decisions that can harm his team in any way. He needs to exhibit trust-building behaviour.
He needs to trust his team members before they trust him. It works both ways.
As the team leader is the connection between the team and the higher management, he needs to work in tandem with both parties to obtain a full commitment from the management in support of the team's programme.
It is his responsibility to ensure his team members are making maximum use of the resources and the support provided. He needs to earn the trust of both parties to meet his objectives.
Betrayal of trust leads to an inevitable downfall.
Have faith in your team members to achieve miracles. Provide them with opportunities, equip them with relevant training and support and they will repay your faith.
Listen to yourself when you speak
"Observe yourself talking with colleagues and friends. In your conversation, do you hear yourself blaming others for things that aren't going exactly as you wish? If you can sense your blaming patterns, you can stop them,"
Appraisal? Prepare now
"Document your difficulties as and when you encounter them all through the year. This way, come appraisal time, you will be in a position to discuss them authoritatively,"
Speak up about your accomplishments
Brush up your negotiating skills
Take the positive and the negative
Make specific, measurable, realistic goals
Speak up about your accomplishments
Brush up your negotiating skills
Take the positive and the negative
Make specific, measurable, realistic goals
Tips for living more positive life
1. Appreciate, appreciate, appreciate!
People often want appreciation from others. It can become a craving need. Instead, start to appreciate everything around you, such as:
- The sunshine and the weather.
- Your food.
- Your health.
- The people around you. Your friends, family, co-workers and just about anyone walking down the street.
- A good TV-show, a movie or a song.
- A good conversation.
- Your roof and your house.
- All the great things you can find online.
- Yourself. If you just look there is a lot to appreciate about yourself.
It’s a quick way to turn a sour mood into a more positive and useful one. Just try if for a minute and see how it changes how you feel. And it’s a win/win solution. You feel great because you are appreciating your world and the people you appreciate feel great too because they feel appreciated.
And since the Law of Reciprocity is strong they’ll often start to appreciate you too thereby starting a growing upward spiral of positive thoughts and emotions.
But don’t focus too much on that though. Just focus on appreciating your world and let rest take care of itself.
2. Focus on what you want, not on what you don´t want
The more I do this, the more I discover that it is so key in improving your life. It´s simply filling your life and time with more of what you want.
The thing is that it is very easy to fall into a habit of focusing your thoughts on what you don´t want rather than what you want. If you do that then it will be hard to get what you want in life.
If you want to improve your finances then focus on having a great financial situation rather than your lack of money and your debts. If you want a new relationship then focus on meeting a lot of new people and forming great relationships rather than focusing on your loneliness and your lack. If you don’t then you’ll miss many opportunities that you mind just blocks out since it’s focused on your lack.
But if you do then opportunities will suddenly start to pop out of all that stimuli that is your world. Your mind can mostly just see what you focus it on. So focus on what you want in life.
3. Educate and explore yourself
Self-education can be a great help to live a better life. Read great books on the areas of your life you want to improve. Maybe it’s it your financial situation or your health. Or maybe it’s your relationships.
4. Take a lot of action in your life
“Just do it!” is a nice slogan. But if you feel like you really can’t do what you want then it will probably not be too helpful.
5. Improve your social skills
So much of the happiness, value and fun in life come from interactions and relationships with other people. Improving those interactions and your communication skills can greatly improve your life. And – as a bonus - as you focus your attention more outward, toward other people instead of focusing inward much of the negative feelings that can come through overanalysing and feeling self-conscious mostly just disappear. You just are. And that’s a pretty good feeling state to be and communicate in.
People often want appreciation from others. It can become a craving need. Instead, start to appreciate everything around you, such as:
- The sunshine and the weather.
- Your food.
- Your health.
- The people around you. Your friends, family, co-workers and just about anyone walking down the street.
- A good TV-show, a movie or a song.
- A good conversation.
- Your roof and your house.
- All the great things you can find online.
- Yourself. If you just look there is a lot to appreciate about yourself.
It’s a quick way to turn a sour mood into a more positive and useful one. Just try if for a minute and see how it changes how you feel. And it’s a win/win solution. You feel great because you are appreciating your world and the people you appreciate feel great too because they feel appreciated.
And since the Law of Reciprocity is strong they’ll often start to appreciate you too thereby starting a growing upward spiral of positive thoughts and emotions.
But don’t focus too much on that though. Just focus on appreciating your world and let rest take care of itself.
2. Focus on what you want, not on what you don´t want
The more I do this, the more I discover that it is so key in improving your life. It´s simply filling your life and time with more of what you want.
The thing is that it is very easy to fall into a habit of focusing your thoughts on what you don´t want rather than what you want. If you do that then it will be hard to get what you want in life.
If you want to improve your finances then focus on having a great financial situation rather than your lack of money and your debts. If you want a new relationship then focus on meeting a lot of new people and forming great relationships rather than focusing on your loneliness and your lack. If you don’t then you’ll miss many opportunities that you mind just blocks out since it’s focused on your lack.
But if you do then opportunities will suddenly start to pop out of all that stimuli that is your world. Your mind can mostly just see what you focus it on. So focus on what you want in life.
3. Educate and explore yourself
Self-education can be a great help to live a better life. Read great books on the areas of your life you want to improve. Maybe it’s it your financial situation or your health. Or maybe it’s your relationships.
4. Take a lot of action in your life
“Just do it!” is a nice slogan. But if you feel like you really can’t do what you want then it will probably not be too helpful.
5. Improve your social skills
So much of the happiness, value and fun in life come from interactions and relationships with other people. Improving those interactions and your communication skills can greatly improve your life. And – as a bonus - as you focus your attention more outward, toward other people instead of focusing inward much of the negative feelings that can come through overanalysing and feeling self-conscious mostly just disappear. You just are. And that’s a pretty good feeling state to be and communicate in.
Quotes on Wealth and Money
Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.
William A. Ward
William A. Ward
It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.
Seneca
Seneca
Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.
Jim Rohn
The person who doesn’t know where his next dollar is coming from usually doesn’t know where his last dollar went.
It’s not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It’s the customer who pays the wages.
Henry Ford
If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice of how he acts when he loses money.
Simone Weil
It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy.
George Lorimer
You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.
Maya Angelou
Maya Angelou
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
Henry Ford
Henry Ford
Why some people almost always are successful
They make decisions and take action Right or wrong action, they take it. Either way it’s always better than making no decisions and taking no action at all. As Franklin Roosevelt said:
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”
They do things even when they don´t feel like it
I think this is a pretty huge factor. A lot of us back down when we don´t want to do something, even though it may eventually bring us to a wonderful experience or goal. Successful people may not always like doing some of the things they have to do. But they do them anyway. And in the longer run that makes all the difference.
They do the most productive thing right now
Instead of trapping themselves in doing productive but not so important tasks or projects they realise what’s most important and do that. And after they´re done with that they do what´s most important again. Instead of just doing a lot of things, they think and plan before they act and try to focus as much as possible of their thoughts and actions on those few very important things.
They do one thing at a time
Many of them don´t seem to multi-task. Some reasons for avoiding that may be that it creates internal confusion, wastes time and spreads the multi-tasker too thinly. Instead, they do one thing and focus on that until it is done. Then they do the next thing until it is done. Focusing 100% on one task at a time will get it done quicker and better.
They have a positive attitude
A negative attitude can be very damaging and limiting to one´s life. A positive one can open new doors every day. It can open your mind to new ideas and input and create or sustain great relationships. It helps you through the hard times as a successful person often sees an opportunity within what others would merely see as a problem.
They have redefined failure
While a lot of people see failure as a way to rationalizing the feeling of wanting to giving up or as a sign that it´s actually time to do something else successful people tend to see it more as useful feedback. They may not like to fail, but they don´t fear it – or at least they have little fear of it - and they know that if they fail they´ve been there before and they can start over again and succeed. This is of course a very useful belief and keeps successful people going while the rest have already given up.
They don´t let fear hold them back
They overcome fear and slay that dragon whenever they face it. Or they may have defined or redefined reality so that fear is substantially decreased or even gone in some areas of their life.
They have found a purpose in life
They are internally driven rather than externally driven. They do what they have a burning desire to do rather than conforming to what others think they should do. Even if what the others think may be positive and successful stuff.
They don´t get distracted
They can really focus on actually doing what´s important and what needs to be done. Again, this seems to go back to having a purpose and more clear sense of direction in life.
They value their time highly and plan it out well
A lot of people don´t value their time that much. Successful people have a purpose in life and therefore they do. They have so much they want and an inner urge to do it and therefore need to plan well to use their days effectively.
They´ve got awesome communication-skills
So very much of what we do in life has to do with other people. So it seems quite obvious that to be successful you´ll probably have to have good or great communication-skills
They have an open mind and are willing to learn
Successful people take the time to study and learn – and often seem to really like doing it - what is necessary to improve their skills. They are open to thoughts, suggestions, solutions, new information and change rather than thinking they already know everything, that there is not much more to learn and that everything should be as it has always been.
What to focus on?
Now, what factors are the most important ones, where should one focus the energy? I am currently focusing on improving my ability to take action, doing what I may not feel like doing and doing the most productive thing right now. To me it seems like these three factors are very important and since they are pretty interconnected they are easy to combine.
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.”
They do things even when they don´t feel like it
I think this is a pretty huge factor. A lot of us back down when we don´t want to do something, even though it may eventually bring us to a wonderful experience or goal. Successful people may not always like doing some of the things they have to do. But they do them anyway. And in the longer run that makes all the difference.
They do the most productive thing right now
Instead of trapping themselves in doing productive but not so important tasks or projects they realise what’s most important and do that. And after they´re done with that they do what´s most important again. Instead of just doing a lot of things, they think and plan before they act and try to focus as much as possible of their thoughts and actions on those few very important things.
They do one thing at a time
Many of them don´t seem to multi-task. Some reasons for avoiding that may be that it creates internal confusion, wastes time and spreads the multi-tasker too thinly. Instead, they do one thing and focus on that until it is done. Then they do the next thing until it is done. Focusing 100% on one task at a time will get it done quicker and better.
They have a positive attitude
A negative attitude can be very damaging and limiting to one´s life. A positive one can open new doors every day. It can open your mind to new ideas and input and create or sustain great relationships. It helps you through the hard times as a successful person often sees an opportunity within what others would merely see as a problem.
They have redefined failure
While a lot of people see failure as a way to rationalizing the feeling of wanting to giving up or as a sign that it´s actually time to do something else successful people tend to see it more as useful feedback. They may not like to fail, but they don´t fear it – or at least they have little fear of it - and they know that if they fail they´ve been there before and they can start over again and succeed. This is of course a very useful belief and keeps successful people going while the rest have already given up.
They don´t let fear hold them back
They overcome fear and slay that dragon whenever they face it. Or they may have defined or redefined reality so that fear is substantially decreased or even gone in some areas of their life.
They have found a purpose in life
They are internally driven rather than externally driven. They do what they have a burning desire to do rather than conforming to what others think they should do. Even if what the others think may be positive and successful stuff.
They don´t get distracted
They can really focus on actually doing what´s important and what needs to be done. Again, this seems to go back to having a purpose and more clear sense of direction in life.
They value their time highly and plan it out well
A lot of people don´t value their time that much. Successful people have a purpose in life and therefore they do. They have so much they want and an inner urge to do it and therefore need to plan well to use their days effectively.
They´ve got awesome communication-skills
So very much of what we do in life has to do with other people. So it seems quite obvious that to be successful you´ll probably have to have good or great communication-skills
They have an open mind and are willing to learn
Successful people take the time to study and learn – and often seem to really like doing it - what is necessary to improve their skills. They are open to thoughts, suggestions, solutions, new information and change rather than thinking they already know everything, that there is not much more to learn and that everything should be as it has always been.
What to focus on?
Now, what factors are the most important ones, where should one focus the energy? I am currently focusing on improving my ability to take action, doing what I may not feel like doing and doing the most productive thing right now. To me it seems like these three factors are very important and since they are pretty interconnected they are easy to combine.
Ways to improve your Body Language
1. Don’t cross your arms or legs – You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded. This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare – If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
4. Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
5. Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight – but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
7. Lean, but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
8. Smile and laugh – lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.
9. Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
10. Keep you head up. Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
11. Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap you’re neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
12. Don’t fidget – try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly. You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements.
13. Use your hands more confidently – instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around, use them with some control.
14. Lower your drink – don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
15. Realise where you spine ends – many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture.
16. Don’t stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.
17. Keep a good attitude – last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference.
2. Have eye contact, but don’t stare – If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure. If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep working on it and you’ll get used to it.
3. Don’t be afraid to take up some space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
4. Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders a bit and move them back slightly.
5. Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight – but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
7. Lean, but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying, lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant and distant.
8. Smile and laugh – lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.
9. Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners or the people in the conversation.
10. Keep you head up. Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
11. Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If someone addresses you, don’t snap you’re neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
12. Don’t fidget – try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table rapidly. You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your movements.
13. Use your hands more confidently – instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around, use them with some control.
14. Lower your drink – don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
15. Realise where you spine ends – many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight and aligned for better posture.
16. Don’t stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.
17. Keep a good attitude – last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major difference.
To Change how you feel
1. Relax
This one is easy but just remembering that you can relax when you feel all tensed up can work wonders. You might realise that much of that tension was something you just built up in your own mind.
2. Ask different questions
We are always asking ourselves questions, but they might be questions that aren’t really that good. Instead of asking yourself: “why must I do this?”, ask yourself “how can I make this more fun for me?” or “how can this help me?”. Don’t ask yourself “will I be able to do this?”, instead ask “how will I do this?”.
Ask better questions that empowers you.
Questions that presupposes that you have the power over your own life.
Questions that directs your focus to solutions and opens your mind to new possibilities instead of questions that just makes you feel trapped and lousy.
3. Smile
Smiling gives you a boost of happiness. Try forcing yourself to smile for thirty seconds right now. The great feelings that make you smile works in reverse too. By making yourself smile, no matter how you feel, your body will start releasing all those wonderful chemicals that makes you feel happy. Try it right now and feel the difference.
4. Appreciate things
This is one of the most simple and effective ways to just feel so much better. Just look around yourself. Appreciate the good food you’re eating, the hot woman or man walking past you, the kids playing and just having fun in the mud puddles, all the possibilities in your life, all the great things about your friends and your family, the birds singing… Ok, so perhaps it sounds a bit corny.
But it really works. And it’s great to try to change your mindset to one where you appreciate the things in your everyday life instead of taking them for granted.
5. Interrupt your thought pattern
You might be feeling down or you are procrastinating. Maybe nothing is working out for you today. You just want to go home and go to bed. Here’s where you might want to interrupt your thought pattern. And you do that simply by doing something unexpected and totally different from what you are doing now.
Some suggestions; take a glass of water, throw it in own your face. Or jump up and down ten times singing the chorus from “We are the champions” by Queen at the top of you lungs. Or imagine your negative inner voice sounding like Goofy. Do something that totally breaks your thought pattern. Something humours is nice because it’s often the opposite to a depressed or anxious state that you would like to break out of. And laughter and smiles breaks tension too.
6. Use an external stateboost
This is a great idea and you probably already using it to some degree. Anyways, here are some suggestions. Change and boost your emotional state with some of your favourite music, maybe a couple of YouTube-clips, an episode of the Simpsons (or your favourite sitcom), personal development-cds, -books or –websites. Or perhaps Eddie Murphy’s “Delirious” or “Raw”. That’s some side-splittingly funny stand-up.
7. Eat. But not too much. Or too little
If you feel tired and frustrated maybe you just need to eat to get your energy back and your blood sugar up to a more healthy level. But don’t eat too much or you’ll feel tired and lazy. Don’t eat to little either or pretty soon you’ll feel just as bad as you did before you ate. Also, it you’re sitting most of the day, take it a bit easy on the carbs and the size of your portions. You may have been raised to eat large and healthy meals, but maybe your father and mother had more physical jobs…
8. Create a physical anchor
Ok, this one might take a while but it seems to work for many people. Basically you stand up, close your eyes and imagine an emotional state that you want to able to snap into on command. As an example I imagined a time when I felt really powerful and confident. I stood, I breathed and I moved the way I did that one time. Then while I was back in that state both physically and mentally I snapped the fingers of my right hand. Over and over. Over and over and over again. The theory is that you link up that emotion with the physical act of snapping your fingers.
9. Open yourself up to other possibilities that are more beneficial to you
Have some faith that the way you view work, relationships, money, exercise, life and those other things are not the only way to see them. Having the feeling that you are right about something and “know how things work” can feel really good. It’s instant gratification and gives you security and comfort.
But it also limits you by closing your mind to other avenues of thought and personal development. Seek out a couple of experts’ advice in the area that you are having problems with. Use google and amazon, just dive in to the subject for a while to get a basic understanding. Most likely there are things you can do both to remedy the problem and to change you perspective on this trouble area. There are often more solutions than one or two to a problem.
10. Recall your positive experiences and memories
This one is easy but just remembering that you can relax when you feel all tensed up can work wonders. You might realise that much of that tension was something you just built up in your own mind.
2. Ask different questions
We are always asking ourselves questions, but they might be questions that aren’t really that good. Instead of asking yourself: “why must I do this?”, ask yourself “how can I make this more fun for me?” or “how can this help me?”. Don’t ask yourself “will I be able to do this?”, instead ask “how will I do this?”.
Ask better questions that empowers you.
Questions that presupposes that you have the power over your own life.
Questions that directs your focus to solutions and opens your mind to new possibilities instead of questions that just makes you feel trapped and lousy.
3. Smile
Smiling gives you a boost of happiness. Try forcing yourself to smile for thirty seconds right now. The great feelings that make you smile works in reverse too. By making yourself smile, no matter how you feel, your body will start releasing all those wonderful chemicals that makes you feel happy. Try it right now and feel the difference.
4. Appreciate things
This is one of the most simple and effective ways to just feel so much better. Just look around yourself. Appreciate the good food you’re eating, the hot woman or man walking past you, the kids playing and just having fun in the mud puddles, all the possibilities in your life, all the great things about your friends and your family, the birds singing… Ok, so perhaps it sounds a bit corny.
But it really works. And it’s great to try to change your mindset to one where you appreciate the things in your everyday life instead of taking them for granted.
5. Interrupt your thought pattern
You might be feeling down or you are procrastinating. Maybe nothing is working out for you today. You just want to go home and go to bed. Here’s where you might want to interrupt your thought pattern. And you do that simply by doing something unexpected and totally different from what you are doing now.
Some suggestions; take a glass of water, throw it in own your face. Or jump up and down ten times singing the chorus from “We are the champions” by Queen at the top of you lungs. Or imagine your negative inner voice sounding like Goofy. Do something that totally breaks your thought pattern. Something humours is nice because it’s often the opposite to a depressed or anxious state that you would like to break out of. And laughter and smiles breaks tension too.
6. Use an external stateboost
This is a great idea and you probably already using it to some degree. Anyways, here are some suggestions. Change and boost your emotional state with some of your favourite music, maybe a couple of YouTube-clips, an episode of the Simpsons (or your favourite sitcom), personal development-cds, -books or –websites. Or perhaps Eddie Murphy’s “Delirious” or “Raw”. That’s some side-splittingly funny stand-up.
7. Eat. But not too much. Or too little
If you feel tired and frustrated maybe you just need to eat to get your energy back and your blood sugar up to a more healthy level. But don’t eat too much or you’ll feel tired and lazy. Don’t eat to little either or pretty soon you’ll feel just as bad as you did before you ate. Also, it you’re sitting most of the day, take it a bit easy on the carbs and the size of your portions. You may have been raised to eat large and healthy meals, but maybe your father and mother had more physical jobs…
8. Create a physical anchor
Ok, this one might take a while but it seems to work for many people. Basically you stand up, close your eyes and imagine an emotional state that you want to able to snap into on command. As an example I imagined a time when I felt really powerful and confident. I stood, I breathed and I moved the way I did that one time. Then while I was back in that state both physically and mentally I snapped the fingers of my right hand. Over and over. Over and over and over again. The theory is that you link up that emotion with the physical act of snapping your fingers.
9. Open yourself up to other possibilities that are more beneficial to you
Have some faith that the way you view work, relationships, money, exercise, life and those other things are not the only way to see them. Having the feeling that you are right about something and “know how things work” can feel really good. It’s instant gratification and gives you security and comfort.
But it also limits you by closing your mind to other avenues of thought and personal development. Seek out a couple of experts’ advice in the area that you are having problems with. Use google and amazon, just dive in to the subject for a while to get a basic understanding. Most likely there are things you can do both to remedy the problem and to change you perspective on this trouble area. There are often more solutions than one or two to a problem.
10. Recall your positive experiences and memories
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