Take charge of your career destiny - Azim Premji

The funny thing about life is that you realise the value of something only when it begins to leave you. As my hair turned from black, to salt and pepper and finally salt without the pepper, I have begun to realise the enthusiasm and excitement of youth. At the same time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons I have learnt along the way. As you embark on your careers, I would like to share them with you. I am hoping that you will find them as useful as I have.

The world you are entering is in many ways very different now from what it was when I began my career. It was the late sixties and India [ depended on other countries for something as basic as food. We aroused sympathy, not admiration whenever we went overseas. Recently, someone told me, that when visitors came to India then, they came to see what they could do for India. Now, they come to see what India can do for them. As a hopeful Indian, I look at our country as one which is rich in ethnic and cultural diversity and one that has an effective, secular democracy which will help us build an enduring society.

Lesson 1: Take charge
This was the first thought that came to me, when over four decades ago, I stepped into Wipro factory at Amalner. I was 21 and had spent the last few years in Stanford University Engineering School at California. Many people advised me to take up a nice, cushy job rather than face the challenges of running a hydrogenated oil business. Looking back, I am glad I decided to take charge instead. Essentially, leadership begins from within. It is a small voice that tells you where to go when you feel lost. If you believe in that voice, you believe in yourself. When it comes to choosing your careers, you have to take charge of your own destiny.

Lesson 2: Earn your happiness
The second lesson I have learnt is that a rupee earned is of far more value than five found. In fact, what is gifted or inherited follows the old rule of come easy, go easy. I guess we only know the value of what we have if we have struggled to earn it.

Lesson 3: Nothing succeeds like failure
The third lesson I have learnt is no one bats a hundred every time. Life has many challenges. You win some and lose some. You must enjoy winning. But do not let it go to the head. The moment it does, you are already on your way to failure. And if you do encounter failure along the way, treat it as an equally natural phenomenon. The important thing is, when you lose, do not lose the lesson.

Lesson 4: Nothing fails like success
The fourth lesson I have learnt is the importance of humility. There is a thin line of difference between confidence and arrogance. Confident people are always open to learn. A recent survey of executives in Europe showed that the single most important quality needed for leadership success was the willingness to learn from any situation. Arrogance on the other hand stops learning. It comes with a feeling that one knows all that needs to be known and has done all that needs to be done.

Lesson 5: There has to be a better way
Partly as a corollary to what I have just said, we must remember that no matter how well we do something there has to be a better way! Excellence is not a destination but a journey. Creativity and innovation sometimes need inspiration from other disciplines. It is probably not a chance that Einstein's interest in music was as much as his interest in Physics. Bertrand Russell was as much a mathematician as a philosopher. Excellence and creativity go hand in hand.

Lesson 6: Respond, not react
There is a world of difference between the two and in terms of success and failure. The difference is that the mind comes in between responding and reacting. When we respond, we evaluate with a calm mind and do whatever is most appropriate. We are in control of our actions. When we react, we are still doing what the other person wants us to do.

Lesson 7: Remain physically active
It is easy to take health for granted when you are young. I have found that exercise not only improves the quality of time but also reduces the time you need for sleep. The truth is that stress will only increase in a global world. You must have your own mechanism to deal with it.

Lesson 8: Never compromise on your core values
Mahatma Gandhiji often said that you must open the windows of your mind, but you must not be swept off your feet by the breeze. One must define what you stand for. This is not difficult. But values lie, not in the words used to describe them, as much as in the simple acts. And that is the hard part. Like someone said, "I could not hear what you said because what you did was coming out far too loud".

Lesson 9: Play to win
Playing to win brings out the best in us and in our teams. It brings out the desire to stretch, to achieve that which seems beyond our grasp. However, it is not about winning at any cost. It is not about winning every time. It is not about winning at the expense of others. It is about innovating all the time. It is a continuous endeavour to do better than last time.

Lesson 10: Give back to society
All of us have a collective social responsibility towards doing our bit to address them. Of all the challenges, the key to me is education. We have a paradoxical situation, where on the one hand we have jobs chasing scarce talent and on the other, rampant unemployment and poverty. The only way to bridge these two ends of the pole is by providing quality education that is accessible by all.

Can't Say "No" to People?

What are you afraid of if you say "No" to people? Here are some of the things my clients have told me regarding their fear of saying no:

"I'm afraid of hurting their feelings. Then they will get angry at me and I will feel like a bad person."

"I'm afraid of ending up with no friends. People will reject me if I say no."

"I'm afraid that my partner will get angry and withdraw his love."

However, when you are afraid to stand up for yourself and say "no" when saying "no" is what is in your highest good, then you might put walls around yourself to avoid having to say "No."

For example, Janice keeps herself 50 pounds overweight because it makes her feel safe from men approaching her for sex. A beautiful woman who was abused as a child, she never learned that it is her responsibility to take care of her own feelings and safety, rather than take responsibility for others' feelings. She is so afraid of hurting a man's feelings by saying "no," that she would rather attempt to protect herself by being overweight than have to face saying "no."

Ron is terrified of being taken advantage of. He believes that if he is open hearted, he will be vulnerable to being used and taken advantage of by others. Because he doesn't want to face his fears of rejection should he say "no" to his family, his friends, his co-workers, or even to a persistent salesperson, he keeps himself safe by being closed, hard, and aloof. He believes that by being unapproachable, he is safe from being taken advantage of. However, he then ends up experiencing the very rejection he is afraid of, because people are put off by his aloofness. Not only that, but keeping himself closed and hard cuts him off from connection and fun with others. All this can change for Ron if he learns to take responsibility for himself by saying "no" when this is what is in his highest good.

Gayle finds herself going along with want others want her to do, and saying the things that she thinks others want to hear, because she is so afraid of others' anger at her. But giving herself up feels awful to her, so after a while, she gets angry and shuts down as a way to protect herself from losing herself. She spends all this energy giving herself up, and then getting angry and shutting down, to avoid having to say "no."

As a child, did you experience the heartbreak of rejection or even of abuse if you said "no" to a parent, a sibling, a friend or relative? Did you learn that either going along with what someone wanted, having a temper tantrum, or shutting down and numbing out were ways to avoid the feeling of heartbreak at not being able to say no?

It is very painful for all of us when someone just wants what they want and doesn't care about what we want or what we feel is right for us. It is painful when others want to use us or take advantage of us. So you might be protecting yourself against the heartache of knowing that another doesn't care about you by giving in, getting angry, or shutting down.

But the irony of this is that when you try to avoid the heartache of feeling another's uncaring behavior, you are not caring about yourself. You are abandoning yourself when you give yourself up or close your heart to avoid feeling rejected. By avoiding others' rejection, you are rejecting yourself, which causes much anxiety and depression.

Moving into personal power and emotional freedom means being willing to take the risk of others' uncaring or rejecting behavior and learning to manage the heartache of this, rather than continue to abandon yourself.

Article

"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." Key #1 - Live in the present This is truly the only moment we have. Stay focused on what is happening here and now. Look for the joy and fullness in every moment rather than thinking about or worrying about what happened in the past or what might happen in the future. We waste so much energy worrying needlessly about what has happened rather than focusing on the joyfulness of the present moment. We drive ourselves crazy judging what we should have done and what we should do in the future. When you feel yourself going down that path recognize that your ego is trying to take you on a trip that will bring you nothing but heartache rather than joy. Stop and connect with your Higher Self and ask her/him to support you in living in the moment and enjoying what you are currently experiencing. Accept what comes to you totally and completely knowing that all that is occurring is an opportunity to learn and to grow spiritually. Don't struggle against what is occurring in your life, know that you have created all that you are experiencing, be at one with it and be in gratitude. Key #2 - Take time to be silent Meditate and connect with your Higher Self asking to quiet the internal dialogue. During this time of silence know that you are reconnecting with your source of pure awareness. Pay attention to your inner Self so you may be guided by intuition rather than your ego. Remember that your ego likes to make you wrong to make you right to make you wrong to make you right. It loves taking us down the unstable, fearful path. Our Higher Self wants us to feel safe and loved and to experience unlimited love, joy and peace. ey #3 - Relinquish your need for external approval Remember that all the answers are within us - not outside of ourselves. You alone are the judge of your worth and your goal is to discover and recognize the infinite worth within yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. Remember that they are a mirror for you communicating back to you what you actually think about yourself. No one participates in your life unless you have invited them. There is great freedom in recognizing that all we experience we create. When you find yourself reacting with anger or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts. When you relinquish this anger, you will be healing yourself and cooperating with your Higher Self. Know that the world "out there" reflects your reality "in here." The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear. Key #4 - Shed the heavy garment of judgment You will feel much lighter, more peaceful and more joyful. The first place to begin is to stop judging yourself. Be in love with yourself and know that you are perfect. When you judge, you cut off understanding and shut down the process of learning to love. In judging others, you reflect your lack of self-acceptance. Is there something that a friend, child, spouse or partner does that drives you nuts and you think is silly or stupid? Welcome to the club. When we judge people we are saying that they have faults and in doing so we are claiming that we have faults as well. What are faults anyway? Faults are what other people do, think, feel, or believe that are different from how we perceive things, so we pass judgment that they should think or act this way or that way. What we judge as faults from the other person's perspective are not viewed as faults at all, but just who they are. What can we do? Learn to accept others as being on their own path to growing, learning what they need to learn, when they need to learn it according to life's overall plan, and not your plan. We all act the way we do, think the way we think and feel the way we feel because it is right for us. Many of us think that if so and so would just think the way I think, or feel the way I feel about certain things, they would be much happier. It is not our job to judge what we think is best for someone else. What we can do is connect with our Higher Self and continue to assess what is best for ourselves. As we do that we change and all our experiences with others change for the better. Key #5 - Count your blessings We are sure you have heard this phrase many times. It may sound like a silly thing to do; but, we invite you to give it a try. You may be pleasantly surprised to see how many things you are grateful for. Choose a way that will work for you to record your blessings; make tick marks during the day every time you experience something you are grateful for and count them up at the end of the day or sit in meditation at the end of your day and be in the energy of total joy as you recapture all your blessings for that day. We are sure there are many other ways that you can 'count your blessings'. The decision and choice is yours. There are literally thousands of possible things to be grateful for during the course of your day. You just have to be willing to see them. Key #6 - Let go of old baggage Some of us have heavy overnight bags we are carrying and some of us have trunks. No matter the size, the weight of this baggage can be debilitating and prevent us from truly experiencing happiness. What baggage are you carrying? Is it something a friend did 20 years ago? Or something a sibling, colleague or boss did a week ago? Do you really want to continue to carry this emotional 'stuff' with you for the next 5, 10, 15.... years? This baggage is usually old hurts, resentments, anger or some kind of pain inflicted by another person. Our old baggage can also consist of old guilt - things we should have done or shouldn't have done. Why do we hold on to all these old feelings anyway? For many of us we just see it as part of life and part of our journey and for many of us it actually feels normal and natural. If you feel drained emotionally and can't understand why, sit and reflect on what old baggage you may be carrying. Are there things you are still holding on to that create needless stress? Take the time to journal experiences you have had that you want to let go of. Make a conscience decision in 2010 to lighten your load and carry only what you need for the present moment. Doing so will allow you to experience more and more moments of joy and happiness. Key #7 - Stay in gratitude Staying in a state of gratitude is one of the most effective things you can do to be happy. And, the wonderful thing is it's free and easy. Simply give thanks for something. It can be as simple as giving gratitude to your eyes for being able to read this article or to the email system that allowed you to access this article. Give gratitude to your home or to the hotel room you stayed in on your last business trip or vacation. Get in the habit of giving gratitude to all your experiences, even the ones we deem as 'bad'. Knowing that there are no 'bad' experiences, only opportunities for us to grow and get better. Give gratitude to the person who delivers your mail or to the people who pick up your trash. Give gratitude to your pet(s) that bring you great joy. Giving gratitude opens the dam that has been holding back the natural flow of love and joy. We recognize that there are more than seven keys to happiness and trust that this ezine will inspire you to think of other ways of bringing more happiness into your life. One key point to remember is that happiness comes from deep within. It is a practice in which you have to be actively involved in. Things may happen in your life that knock you down and take you off course. When this happens remember to tap into your Higher Self/Spirit and ask for guidance. To Your Happiness!

5 Ways to Tell the Truth about Ourselves

5 Ways to Tell the Truth about Ourselves
Telling your truth is scary. Many people are willing to go miles out of their way to avoid the truth. That way we avoid the pain that comes with telling the truth. Although denial can work in the short term to make things look all right, in the long term, denial keeps us from the possibility of change--it keeps us stuck in our problems, saps our energy and can leave us exhausted. Denial is a struggle and a struggle implies resistance. And the more we resist something, the more it usually fights back. What we resist persists. It takes courage to dig deep and allow ourselves to open up to the truth. And while telling the truth might hurt, it is also the first step in getting past the hurt. It opens the door to methods we can use to make effective, enduring changes to improve the quality of our lives.

1) Stop shaming and blaming.
Most people see self-evaluation as a negative process, but there is an alternative. We can learn to see shame or blame as excess baggage and just set them aside. We could acknowledge and even regret our mistakes and shortcomings while accepting ourselves completely. We can begin working with our list of weaknesses by celebrating them. The more successful people are, the more likely they are to be open to looking at their flaws. We can love and accept ourselves and still work really hard to change ourselves.

2) Forgive yourself.
One powerful way to move from shame to acceptance is to forgive ourselves. Before practicing new skills and new ways of being, it's wise to clean house. We don't need to beat ourselves up before we re-invent ourselves. We can be totally honest with ourselves and, at the same time, be gentle. While admitting our mistakes, we can treat ourselves with care. After all, everyone makes mistakes.

3) Let go of the past, but learn from it.
We can focus on what we have learned from our past, without getting caught up in repeating our mistakes. We can discover a way to move forward without feeling rotten about the past. We can change the way things are without having to be upset about the way things have been. The past is over. There is nothing you can do to change the past. It is also important for us to let go of who we were or what we did in the past if that is not what we strive to be in the future. This means we have to believe we can change--we can engage in new ways of being and doing. The past is useful in showing us things we do not want to repeat and in exploring lessons we have learned that can be helpful in creating change in the future.

4) Face your fears.
We all have them and they are responsible for holding us back. To identify our fears we need to pay attention and become an observer of ourselves. We should be paying attention to what we fixate on and what we ignore, how we make judgments about situations and how we interpret other's behavior, and the internal dialogue that is going on when the fear strikes. We need to get to know our mindset- especially patterns like learned pessimism or helplessness and other limiting or negative self statements. Mindset is based on our core beliefs. When we say we are afraid, underneath is a belief we have about ourselves- I am not skilled enough, good enough. etc., or a belief about the world--there is too much competition, people won't like what I have to offer, etc. When we can let go of fear we can release ourselves in powerful ways.

5) See the connection between strengths and limitations.
Most people place strengths and weaknesses in separate, unrelated categories. Another way to perceive them is as being closely related. Often the things about ourselves that we label as weaknesses are simply examples of taking our strengths too far. A person with a passion for organization can become obsessed with details and lose sight of overall goals. A person who listens well may forget to speak about his own thoughts and feelings. These are just a few examples. The point is to remember that our assets and liabilities may all be part of the same personal account.

4 things which can not recover

There are 4 things which we can not recover....

1. The STONE .... after the throw
2. The WORDS ... after it is said
3. The OCCASSION .... after the loss
4. The TIME ... after it is gone

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down..

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it.. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!


Worry about nothing, pray about everything

5 Ways to Unlock Your Potential - when things can go wrong

Here are 5 things that can hold you back from your potential (and might be holding you back too).

1. Not admitting that things aren't working
If things are difficult and struggles are an everyday occurrence, something is terribly wrong. Struggle is different than challenge. Challenge can be invigorating -- struggle is draining. The first step in unlocking your potential is to take inventory of your life and consider what's not working. The symptoms of things not working will be lack of something (not enough time, money, energy, relationships, etc)

2. Not knowing your style and values
Understanding your unique blueprint of the world is critical if you're going to make the right decisions for you. Consider what's important to you about your life and match your values to your activities to get yourself in alignment with your dreams.

3. Saying "Yes" to too many things
What activities are taking up your time? What's on your plate right now? And more importantly, what needs to come off your plate? Are you trying to force yourself to complete a project, have a relationship, build a business that doesn't work? Who or what do you need to say "No" to today?

4. Not being comfortable not knowing
Who knows what will happen today, tomorrow, next week or next year for that matter? Spending time in an anxious state of not knowing is not helpful or productive in any way, and will only make you more fearful. Having a death grip on something that's not working is more detrimental than being in the "goo" of not knowing. All creation takes place in this state of not knowing because it's becoming known!

5. Not having faith and trust in the process
When you are on the path to reaching your potential, it sometimes feels like the world has gone badly awry. The constant shifting and changing (and people leaving and new ones appearing) can have a devastating effect if you try to manipulate every situation to your needs. During this time, it is important to examine what IS working and what you ARE working toward instead of looking back and noticing the destruction.

I know that for my client (and myself too) these are the things we constantly go through as we evolve. It does become easier to go through the roller coaster of life with a few rules (and some good friends) along the way.