Take charge of your career destiny - Azim Premji

The funny thing about life is that you realise the value of something only when it begins to leave you. As my hair turned from black, to salt and pepper and finally salt without the pepper, I have begun to realise the enthusiasm and excitement of youth. At the same time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons I have learnt along the way. As you embark on your careers, I would like to share them with you. I am hoping that you will find them as useful as I have.

The world you are entering is in many ways very different now from what it was when I began my career. It was the late sixties and India [ depended on other countries for something as basic as food. We aroused sympathy, not admiration whenever we went overseas. Recently, someone told me, that when visitors came to India then, they came to see what they could do for India. Now, they come to see what India can do for them. As a hopeful Indian, I look at our country as one which is rich in ethnic and cultural diversity and one that has an effective, secular democracy which will help us build an enduring society.

Lesson 1: Take charge
This was the first thought that came to me, when over four decades ago, I stepped into Wipro factory at Amalner. I was 21 and had spent the last few years in Stanford University Engineering School at California. Many people advised me to take up a nice, cushy job rather than face the challenges of running a hydrogenated oil business. Looking back, I am glad I decided to take charge instead. Essentially, leadership begins from within. It is a small voice that tells you where to go when you feel lost. If you believe in that voice, you believe in yourself. When it comes to choosing your careers, you have to take charge of your own destiny.

Lesson 2: Earn your happiness
The second lesson I have learnt is that a rupee earned is of far more value than five found. In fact, what is gifted or inherited follows the old rule of come easy, go easy. I guess we only know the value of what we have if we have struggled to earn it.

Lesson 3: Nothing succeeds like failure
The third lesson I have learnt is no one bats a hundred every time. Life has many challenges. You win some and lose some. You must enjoy winning. But do not let it go to the head. The moment it does, you are already on your way to failure. And if you do encounter failure along the way, treat it as an equally natural phenomenon. The important thing is, when you lose, do not lose the lesson.

Lesson 4: Nothing fails like success
The fourth lesson I have learnt is the importance of humility. There is a thin line of difference between confidence and arrogance. Confident people are always open to learn. A recent survey of executives in Europe showed that the single most important quality needed for leadership success was the willingness to learn from any situation. Arrogance on the other hand stops learning. It comes with a feeling that one knows all that needs to be known and has done all that needs to be done.

Lesson 5: There has to be a better way
Partly as a corollary to what I have just said, we must remember that no matter how well we do something there has to be a better way! Excellence is not a destination but a journey. Creativity and innovation sometimes need inspiration from other disciplines. It is probably not a chance that Einstein's interest in music was as much as his interest in Physics. Bertrand Russell was as much a mathematician as a philosopher. Excellence and creativity go hand in hand.

Lesson 6: Respond, not react
There is a world of difference between the two and in terms of success and failure. The difference is that the mind comes in between responding and reacting. When we respond, we evaluate with a calm mind and do whatever is most appropriate. We are in control of our actions. When we react, we are still doing what the other person wants us to do.

Lesson 7: Remain physically active
It is easy to take health for granted when you are young. I have found that exercise not only improves the quality of time but also reduces the time you need for sleep. The truth is that stress will only increase in a global world. You must have your own mechanism to deal with it.

Lesson 8: Never compromise on your core values
Mahatma Gandhiji often said that you must open the windows of your mind, but you must not be swept off your feet by the breeze. One must define what you stand for. This is not difficult. But values lie, not in the words used to describe them, as much as in the simple acts. And that is the hard part. Like someone said, "I could not hear what you said because what you did was coming out far too loud".

Lesson 9: Play to win
Playing to win brings out the best in us and in our teams. It brings out the desire to stretch, to achieve that which seems beyond our grasp. However, it is not about winning at any cost. It is not about winning every time. It is not about winning at the expense of others. It is about innovating all the time. It is a continuous endeavour to do better than last time.

Lesson 10: Give back to society
All of us have a collective social responsibility towards doing our bit to address them. Of all the challenges, the key to me is education. We have a paradoxical situation, where on the one hand we have jobs chasing scarce talent and on the other, rampant unemployment and poverty. The only way to bridge these two ends of the pole is by providing quality education that is accessible by all.

Can't Say "No" to People?

What are you afraid of if you say "No" to people? Here are some of the things my clients have told me regarding their fear of saying no:

"I'm afraid of hurting their feelings. Then they will get angry at me and I will feel like a bad person."

"I'm afraid of ending up with no friends. People will reject me if I say no."

"I'm afraid that my partner will get angry and withdraw his love."

However, when you are afraid to stand up for yourself and say "no" when saying "no" is what is in your highest good, then you might put walls around yourself to avoid having to say "No."

For example, Janice keeps herself 50 pounds overweight because it makes her feel safe from men approaching her for sex. A beautiful woman who was abused as a child, she never learned that it is her responsibility to take care of her own feelings and safety, rather than take responsibility for others' feelings. She is so afraid of hurting a man's feelings by saying "no," that she would rather attempt to protect herself by being overweight than have to face saying "no."

Ron is terrified of being taken advantage of. He believes that if he is open hearted, he will be vulnerable to being used and taken advantage of by others. Because he doesn't want to face his fears of rejection should he say "no" to his family, his friends, his co-workers, or even to a persistent salesperson, he keeps himself safe by being closed, hard, and aloof. He believes that by being unapproachable, he is safe from being taken advantage of. However, he then ends up experiencing the very rejection he is afraid of, because people are put off by his aloofness. Not only that, but keeping himself closed and hard cuts him off from connection and fun with others. All this can change for Ron if he learns to take responsibility for himself by saying "no" when this is what is in his highest good.

Gayle finds herself going along with want others want her to do, and saying the things that she thinks others want to hear, because she is so afraid of others' anger at her. But giving herself up feels awful to her, so after a while, she gets angry and shuts down as a way to protect herself from losing herself. She spends all this energy giving herself up, and then getting angry and shutting down, to avoid having to say "no."

As a child, did you experience the heartbreak of rejection or even of abuse if you said "no" to a parent, a sibling, a friend or relative? Did you learn that either going along with what someone wanted, having a temper tantrum, or shutting down and numbing out were ways to avoid the feeling of heartbreak at not being able to say no?

It is very painful for all of us when someone just wants what they want and doesn't care about what we want or what we feel is right for us. It is painful when others want to use us or take advantage of us. So you might be protecting yourself against the heartache of knowing that another doesn't care about you by giving in, getting angry, or shutting down.

But the irony of this is that when you try to avoid the heartache of feeling another's uncaring behavior, you are not caring about yourself. You are abandoning yourself when you give yourself up or close your heart to avoid feeling rejected. By avoiding others' rejection, you are rejecting yourself, which causes much anxiety and depression.

Moving into personal power and emotional freedom means being willing to take the risk of others' uncaring or rejecting behavior and learning to manage the heartache of this, rather than continue to abandon yourself.